Dream on.

When I was a little girl, my Granny used to tell me that every time you saw sun rays in the sky, it was god bringing someone home to heaven. Even after walking away from the church and a hardcore religious house, I still held onto that belief.

The day of my Dad’s memorial, I sat on the beach early in the morning for 2 hours, grieving and reflecting…and those sun rays were there for the entire time. To this day, I see my dad every time those rays show up and I know, he’s still with me

The day my Grampa died, there were sun rays in Oregon and when I landed in Arizona, I saw them every day till I left. 

Last night, my Mom called me at 10pm after talking to an officer in Long Beach, my Uncle Rick had suddenly passed. My world tipped on it’s edge in an instant.

When I couldn’t sleep last night, I asked my Dad to come get my Uncle Rick, to make sure he wasn’t alone. I told him that he needed his best friend again…and I think it’s safe to say he heard me. 

Early this morning, Brett took the dogs to the river and he took this photo. When he showed me the picture, I knew Dad heard me and I lost it. 

Life is so fleeting. We don’t know what the next hour will bring, let alone tomorrow or next year. It’s so vital to truly seize every single opportunity that presents itself and live life to the very bittersweet end. Be present, focus on the now, do stupid shit for fun and for fuck sakes, tell everyone you love that YOU LOVE THEM. You never know when it’s the last time you say those words.

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Uncle Rick… 

You were my hero, my favorite person on this planet. You were the essence of fun and a total idiot… rocking out to Casio keyboards as if they were boom boxes and taking me on the scariest rides at Knott’s at the age of three. You were my screaming 4 Non Blondes in grocery stores, my cruising the PCH in shitty convertibles, my getting bucked off old track horses and yelling “YEOWY MAUI!” 

You were my refuge, my protector from evil. You were here with me, for me since the moment I came into this world. You defended me, you stepped in as a father when mine wasn’t there. You stood up for me and allowed me to run to you when I was scared. 

You were my over the top, art loving, music obsessed, always loud, weird nickname giving, incredibly stubborn, terrible decision making Uncle Rick. But you helped shape the person I am today. 

I hope you and Dad are drinking Miller Lite and smoking a joint right now, while Dad tries to rope you into one of his dumb adventures. Maybe try not to steal anyone’s car and leave them in the mountains this time though?

I love you, Uncle Ick. You will always be my favorite, and forever be 42 years old. 

Dream on, Uncle Rick. Dream on. 

Love, your Dewey.

Richard Allen Von Busch | 9 Feb 1955 - 1 Aug 2021